• Great for scrubs and losers.            
• Zero Experience needed!
• Great for dog blogs!
• 28.8kbps speed
• 1.5 websites
• Free Malware!
• For Grandmas, Moms, and Kids!

$3/mo!

• Perfect for the average
• Must be able to fake being smart
• Good if you want a run-down business
• 10mbps speed
• 10 websites
• If you get hacked, you fix it!
• For Dads and Vegans*!

$13/mo!

• Awesome for richies and know-it-alls
• Must have a Masters in Networking
• Best for tech gurus and spammers!
• 1tbps speed!!!!
• 10,000 websites!
• You can distribute malware!
• For CEOs and Techies!

$30/mo!